Good morning to everyone. As I thought about a subject to write about today...my most embarrassing moment seemed to come to mind. We have all had them! Somewhere in our life times...we have all experienced the horrifying, embarrassing moment, that years later we can sit at look back at and laugh. But oh, at the time, it is not at all a funny situation.
I have to go back to when I was 30 years old and had decided that I wanted to go to college. Okay...now you can laugh if you must, but I was finally ready. I had married very young...19 year old bride. I had a child, a year and a half later and then another within 12 months and 2 weeks of the first. I spent most of my days, changing diapers, reading books and singing nursery rhymes. Then it was the arts and crafts mom and then the room mother at school. Finally, I thought it was time for me.
I went and took the test at a local college and signed up for a really full schedule. I arranged my classes so that I could get the children to school in the morning and then myself. I took all the major subjects...no fluffer classes for me. I was able to finish my days classes and be home in time to pick up the children at the end of their day at school.
Now, I have to tell you, what an experience it is to be back in school at the age of 30. I was in school during the daytime with all the other students who were just out of high school, They were all gathered in between classes and talking about parties and concerts, where all I could think of was cleaning house, making dinner and helping the children with their homework not to mention getting mine done. I worked really hard at my classes. I remember that when I started school, I had the notion that I could become a teacher. I recall the first time I took a Math exam, my stomach was tied up all in knots...I could barely stand it. I remember getting the paper...filling out the test and then getting up to turn it into the teacher. the whole time it took for me to walk from my desk to the teacher's desk, all I could think of was that I REALLY needed to get to the bathroom and FAST! My nerves had truly gotten the better of me. As I made that walk down the aisle, it felt like a walk down death row. Every student lifted their head to look at me. When I got to the Professor's desk, he looked up and asked me whether I had a question. I just shook me head no and told him that I was done with the test. His eyes grew wide as he extended his hand out to take the paper from me. He asked if I was sure. I told him I was and immediately exited the room. I could barely make it to the bathroom down the hall. Now, I was in the bathroom, sicker than anything and worried now on top of it because I did the exam in 15 minutes. We had 45 minutes to finish, so what did I do wrong? I had gone over every answer and didn't know how to change anything. Was I just in a stupor? Had my nerves gotten the best of me? Had I gone through all those weeks of study for it to now blow up in my face? That was a Friday and I would have to get through the entire weekend till Monday to see my mark. Had I totally blown it? What was I doing? Should I really be back in school at the age of 30?
It seemed like an eternity from that Friday to that Monday..I kept busy with things at home, the children, the cooking, the studies, when Monday finally rolled around. There I was, back in the class room once again, anticipating the grade on the paper. The teacher marched up and down the aisles and hand delivered each exam while he made comments to each student along the way. The moment had finally arrived. He started his walk towards me. I was almost afraid to look at the paper as his hand placed it on my desk. All he said was" I was very shocked"....oh my god, what did I do? This was it, I thought to myself! I flipped over the paper to see my grade. I had gotten a 100. I did it! I really did it...I hadn't goofed up...I really knew l the answers. All those hours of study paid off.
This is the moment where everything for me changed. I continued well in school, I got A's in everything. I made the Phi Beta Club, that is the honor society, I changed my idea of becoming a teacher to bio-engineering and eventually to becoming a forensic medical examiner. I was on my way...I had the world to look forward to. At that time, it also made it harder for me in school with the other students. They hated to see me walk into a classroom. My mere presence meant that the curve would be blown. But I really didn't care. I often times wanted to take some of the students and shake them by their shoulders and tell them to wake up. Get serious, this I your life....do you really want to have to first be my age to start this?
Now, when I would walk into a classroom, 95% of the class was seated in the last few rows of the classroom. I of course, sashayed myself up always to the front row. I wanted a good view of the chalkboards and to have a good position to hear the professors. This one day in particular, the room was quite large but instead of it being deep, it was wide. I initially sat down in the front desk on the right side of the room, right near the podium. Now you first need to get a visual of the desk. It was one of those chairs where the desk was attached to the right side and jutted out in front of you. I was well seated, pen in hand, notebook in place, notes being taken...I took such good notes that when someone missed a class, they knew to ask me to borrow mine, but at the same time they dreaded it. They used to ask me whether I was writing a book instead of just taking notes...hmmm....I just thought to myself...guess that's why I get the A's and what do you get? Anyway, there I was taking notes and the professor decided to go all the way over to the other end of the room to start to write on the chalkboard. Well, from where I was sitting, I couldn't make out the writing, so I stood up to move to that side of the room, only unbeknownst to me, my foot had fallen asleep, and as I stood up...Bang...right down to the ground I went. Imagine my horror...30 years old and I fell in front of all those kids. I really felt like I had aged 100 years in that split second. The professor came racing across the room to help me up. I was so embarrassed I felt as though I could have died right then and there. I told him that I was fine, and refused his help. Not once thinking of what I was doing, I attempted to get up and without realizing it I was trying to support myself using the desk. Only to have the desk tip over and fall again. Now I may have been getting A's on my paperwork, but this particular task I was failing miserably. I couldn't believe how dumb and embarrassed I was in that moment. That's what I got for being the studious one and having to sit up in front. I put myself right on display. I always loved theater...but this stage I was not prepared to be on. Comedy was never really my forte. I was bruised and banged up pretty bad. the only thing worse would have been if I would have drawn blood. Trust me when I say, I always learned to sit in the middle of the room from that day on. I eventually I got trough the day, but never forgot how embarrassing that was. I guess if I had to fall at something, I was glad that the fall had been a physical one and not scholastically.