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My Blog

Somewhere out there..is my daughter!

Good morning to everyone.  Well, another wet morning here in the Chicago land area.  It is amazing to have it the 1st of May and it is still so cold.  I know that this weekend there is a lilac festival and the tulip festival is just around the corner...but I cannot imagine what will be there.  It just seems to be too cold for the plants to be in full bloom, or even nearing that point.  I cannot imagine what the summer is going to look like.  I suppose we will just have to wait and see. 
Well, today's blog is about mothers.  With mother's day approaching I thought that I might touch on the subject.  As a storyteller...mother's day is one of the days that senior facility and any organization having a tea like to have stories told about mothers and daughters.  Funny to me, ho they usually don't ask for mothers and sons...but thinking about that...not many sons will be a tea with mom!  I thought about that. Now, I was never blessed with a son, so I cannot speak from personal experiences, but I can tell you that in one of the Alzheimer facilities that I tell stories at, there is a son that is always the constant visitor to his mom.  I know a personal friend who was in a facility and her son was also always by her side and posts continuously on facebook about her and how much he misses her.  It makes me think that it would be nice to share a special occasion like a tea with a son.  I know that when I tell stories, even though most occasions are with the daughters, I include stories about mothers and sons. 
My husband sat down the other evening and turned and asked me what I wanted or mothers day.  I looked at him and told him..I was not his mother...I didn't need anything.   As I sat here, I thought about all the years that we were married and I cannot ever remember HIM being the one to think about mothers day.  It was always me who bought the cards and the gifts.  I thought it was odd that he would be now concerned about me and the day.  I of course, have chosen to work on that day.  I don't have any children or grandchildren here to celebrate the day with and so when I think of those who may be alone in the nursing home...spending mothers day is a pleasant way for me to spend the afternoon. 
Mother's Day for me has been one of the most difficult days of the year.  Since one of my daughters left and we have not spoken in almost 18 years, I simply am traumatized by the day.  I talk to myself over and over again.  I try to convince myself on how happy I should be with the beautiful gift of a daughter and 3 beautiful granddaughters, and yet my heart has a side that is empty and filled with grief.  No one can fill that hole.  I have been blessed with another child from God who is just like a daughter to me...and I hold her in my heart as well, and a grateful for her...but nothing replaces that spot. 
I remember the first year that she was gone, my other daughter had a friend over to spend the day.  I was in total breakdown mode...her name was the same as my daughter that left and each time I heard it...it was like a knife being ripped through my heart.  The poor thing...she offered to change her name if it helped.  God bless her!!  She understood the pain I was in!  It took a long time for me to even want to face mother's day.  Now I still think of my daughter, but then I think of those who might be in the same position or even worse...and I try to spend it with them.   
There is a song that I have deemed for her and me. It is the song Somewhere Out There by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingrams.   It may be a love long...but to me...it is about how much I still love my daughter and the peace that it gives me to know that somehow...someway...we are still together under the cover of the stars.  Even if she doesn't realize it, I dedicate it to her and pray that somehow...someway....she just might know in her heart just how much she is missed. 
So Valerie...here are the words to the song. 

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of (you)me and loving(you) me tonight
Somewhere out there, someone's singing a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through, then we'll be together
Somewhere out there, out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through, then we'll be together
Somewhere out there, out where dreams come true
 




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