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My Blog

Well...BULLY for YOU??

Good morning to everyone.  TGIF...another weekend is on the horizon. The weather here in the Niles area is great.  A high of 78 degrees....doesn't get any better than that!  A full day ahead of me.   Plenty to work on and hopefully the stamina to do it. 
Today's blog is about bullies.  I have always connected bullies with children.  I do bullying programs in schools...but most recently, I have come to the realization of adult bullying.  You would think that by this stage of life, adults would not feel the need to be a bully...but most of the time I think it is all about POWER and CONTROL! 
I have come across a number of women in particular who have that need to be the POWER!  They want to CONTROL each and every little detail of another person's life and anything else that they can get their hands on. I have learned that this particular mode of control usually stems from not being in control of something important in their lives and ultimately...they NEED to control something and land up controlling everything around them.  How is this bullying?  Well, they want control over others.  They become demanding and insisting.  They also use the act of belittling another person to show prowess over them. 
Men are no better in this area.  If you are a bully...it doesn't matter what your gender might be.  Bullying comes in many shapes, forms and ages.  Some people are physical bullies while other are mental and emotional bullies.
There have been studies that  have shown that envy and resentment may be motives for bullying.actions as hostile, The bully has concerns with preserving their self image , and engaging in obsessive or rigid actions
It amazes me the types of categories that bullying now falls under.  There are cyberbullying, disability, military, gay, work place, legal, parental, prison, school, sexual, institutional,  academia, medical, technological, nursing, teaching and many other areas. 
In the United States only some states have laws against bullying.  It should be in all states. 
What does bullying do to the victim? Depression, low self esteem, suicide, death. 
Many victims search for a way out...now that can come from leaving the place in which the bullying takes place....but it doesn't solve the problem, because the bully will move on to their next victim.  So the first thing to do is to recognize a bully, and then the next step is to tell someone...anyone!  Make others aware of what is happening.  Don't let the bully win!

Here are some examples of bullying...physical (pushing, punching, shoving, pinching, flicking, kicking, intimidation, etc), verbal (name calling, hurtful words, taunting, etc), social (exclusion from the lunch table/parties/teams/group/friendships, rumor mongering with the intended or unintended result of someone being left out, etc).Don't think that this is exclusive to chidren...it is in the adult world as well.  If this seems like it is somewhere in your life...the first step is to recognize it!
Bullies don't disappear when we close our eyes.  It is only when we open them and illuminate it to others so that they recognize it as well.
Read a story or two about a bullying situation....see if it fits the bully. 
Remember Chicken Little and the falling sky...gossip can hurt!  How about Anansi and the Moss covered rock, or perhaps Melinda Alice.  I hope this opens the door to recognizing what a huge problem this has become.  Get help or help someone who is the victim...it might just be you or someone close to you!
 


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