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My Blog

Endurance

Good morning everyone. I hope this finds you well.  It is an interesting adventure blogging.  I wish there was a way to ask readers to comment.  When blogging, there are many roads to travel down and I have chosen to use mine as a somewhat thought provoking one...I just wish that I knew how any of my readers felt.  It is interesting to me to see whether they are affected or touched in anyway.  Do you get any inspiration or has the particular blog taken you to a similar situation?   Do you come back to read more?  If you are reading any of these blogs and have a moment...I would love to hear your comments and thoughts.  Thanks.
Well, in accordance with my picture a day...I am posting a picture I just took outside my front door.  It always amazes me that in the coolness of fall, my bushes have yet another bloom.  This is my Weigelia  bush.  It is a delightful bush that first blooms in May. Originally, I planted this bush in our old home.  My mother in law took a cutting and we planted that cutting here in our current home.  It has grown many time to over 8 ft tall and I have cut it down year after year and it comes back full with these amazing flowers.  I am thrilled to see it has thrived and continues to thrive.  If I sell and move, this will be the one bush that I will make numerous cuttings from to plant wherever I go. 
Well, today's blog was brought on because of that flower...it is about endurance.  The thought of endurance was brought on by the rough night that I had.  I have a number of diseases, with fibromyalgia and psoriatic arthritis as 2 of them that cause me the most difficulty as far as pain. Yesterday was an extremely difficult day to get through.  It was a an exceptionally early start and I was on a roll through out the day.  It is really something when you look at the clock hanging on the wall and feel like the day has elapsed and realize it is only 10 AM.  Although...by that point and time, I have worked for 5 hours already.   I pushed past the pain, worked a number of hours more and then decided that I really couldn't handle it without some help.  Being allergic to anti-inflammatories, it makes getting the pain under control quite difficult...but I have endurance.  By 2 PM, I administer a pain patch on 2 locations that seems to be the worse.  I then move to another spot to work...hoping that will help a bit...but the pain continues.  Now it has spread to more areas...but I continue to work.  As I turn on the television to watch while I work, I cannot help but think of others that are affected with this type of pain and decide that it is the gift of endurance that gets us through. Never giving in to it is a difficult task, but a needed one.  I have the biggest fear of giving in and then it takes over and will leave me there....helpless.  So, my stubbornness, my need to win takes over and I push more.  Many times others will tell me to relax...take it easy...everything will still be there tomorrow or the next day...but I question whether I will.  If I take it too easy...the pain actually worsens.  If I sit too long, the inability to get up to even answer the phone become crippling.  I have to look to my endurance to survive.  In the middle of the night...I move from side to side in hopes of finding a moment of unriddle pain.  I heat up the heating pad in the microwave and place it on my body and then move it from location to location hoping to ease some of the pain that is attacking and traveling.  Yes, traveling!  Having pain in just one area is one thing...but when it travels to various parts of your body and you feel as though there a bugs crawling everywhere inside your skin...it becomes more difficult to handle than one can imagine  .  At 4 AM the pain is more than I can bear...so now I am awake and not able to return to sleep.  I know that if I don't do something...it will be another day of misery.  So I drag my body to the microwave, heat the heating pad again and attempt sleep. I am happy to say that even though it took another 40 minutes or so to fall back asleep, I am pleased to open my eyes to a dimly lit room and the realization that it is now 5:45.  I can handle the day a whole lot better now.  I have endured the worse night imaginable!  Am I out of pain now?  NO way...it is really a struggle to even sit.  The heating pad has already been rotated to several areas.  I await the time that I can eat so that I can take a pain pill without the nauseating stomache discomforts.  I have a very busy day ahead of me.  I will endure and push past the pain.  I will adjust how I do my work, but work I will!  To look at me...you would never imagine that there is anything wrong!  These diseases usually attack without warning.  You never know what the triggers are!  I just know that there is pain and the biggest question I ask myself is "What can I do to get past this and find my endurance? "  They say that "there is no rest for the wicked"  Well....look out wicked witch of the west....you are no match for me today!

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