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My Blog

Fibromyalgia...the Masked Bandit

Good morning once again.  Seems a little hazy outdoors today.   Sitting here thinking about all the different topics I have addressed, about all the going back in time or just pure pleasure and fun, today I thought I would take on an unknown thief, the masked bandit...Fibromyalgia.  Perhaps some of you in cyber land have never heard of this vicious thief and some have heard the name, but don't know much of it. 
I am here to tell you about the horrible bandit. 
Mr. Fibromyalgia comes surprisingly at a time when you least except it.  It sneaks in slowly and takes you as hostage.  It begins to take over one spot at a time and it's victim is feeling a small stun gun here and there....It travels on it's vicious mission from one spot to the next as it feels it has done its mission once 18 areas have been attacked.  Once it knows it has you in it's web of deception, you are left helplessly in pain, struggling to find someone to save you.  At times the Bandit uses his magic formula that clouds up your mind.  You begin to forget where you are, sometimes what you are doing.  It begins to increase in strangled hold on you.  You try to get away, but you can't move, the struggle tires you so  that moving often times is useless. 
You finally find your shouts have found their way to someone you think would be able to help...The good guy...MR.  Doctor!  Only he is puzzled...looks at the problem and needs to call in back up.  Now begins the next line of torture, the dreaded beasts called x-rays and MRI"S.  They drain blood form your already havocked body, which leaves you wondering whether these really are the good guys? The results are in, you sit helplessly holding your breath...waiting for some help.  Then they tell you....they have found nothing.  Perhaps, you should see another person for help...perhaps you should have a visit with Mr. Psychiatrist.  The whole time this is happening.....The Fibromyalgia Bandit keeps you captive. He causes more and more pain, only you never know now where his attack will be.  He is a sneaky character.  It is obvious now to only you that he indeed in the MASKED bandit. 
Now it is a daily hostage.  It have morphed you into actions in the morning that make you wonder what he has done to you in the night. You awake waddling like a penguin...oh my God , what is happening...you look in the mirror to make sure your features haven't changed. No, everything looks the same...that is why the good guys can't see anything wrong...the villain has left no outer scars and to make matters worse there are no visible inner scars.  You are now feeling helpless....you start to question whether it is all a dream...you pinch yourself to try to wake up...but OUCH!! That hurts too!  This is a clever bandit....he must have an invisible solution that he uses during his attacks...sure, that's why no one else can see it!  What to do, I need this thief out of my life...He is taking away my ability to do every day things.  He is crippling me from the inside and no one ever sees him while he travels up and down. 
Next his work begins to be affected by the outer atmosphere....the weather now is making things worse....Oh, the humidity is The Bandit's cohort!  It's mere presence causing me to cry in pain.   Now it is no longer deep inside....it has crept it's way to the top of my body, lying sneakily just under my skin.  I can't stand the touch of clothing on my body.  What kind of monster is this?  And it keeps traveling along t body...one day it is in my shoulder, the next day it is in my knee, and the following day it has hold of my lower back...Help...I keep crying help!  
Years go by and I  keep seeking someone, anyone to save me.  Good guy, after god guy, tests after tests and finally, the Super Doctor with x-ray vision...He has heard of this Masked Bandit called Fibromyalgia.  He affirms that I have been enslaved and are indeed under his control.  But, he has a plan that might make the torture less painful. It is called MEDS...they might help.....but there is no guarantee.,. Seems that Mr Fibromyalgia has some power that has so far has made him un-capturable. 
I am desperate, so I take home the bottle of pills.  I start the first one....oh no...this can't be!  I can't get up the next morning, my eyes are closed tight....I can't get them open.  I lay there struggling...I know I am awake...please let me be awake...but I can't move...I can't get up....I am helpless now!  then I realize...it is the pills.  Oh no...this cannot be...I cannot live like a zombie.   Finally hours later I... find myself awake.  The Bandit is still there and I can barely carry on with my day.  the pills have left me in a drowsy state.  I call the Pharmacist for backup...he tells me that is just the side effect....side effect?  You call being in somewhat coma state a side effect?
I can't do this I tell him....Call the Doctor then he tells me. 
The next day, I am now experiencing another torture...it is called a Migraine...another torture from the Bandit....does he never stop...this is bad ...it feels like he is crushing my brain.  Now the Super Doctor gives me pain pills...This helps a bit....maybe we are onto something....they seems do drug the bandit a bit...but it still doesn't stop him completely.  The Super Doctor, now sends me to another Good guy called a Rheumatoid Arthritis specialist....This Super Doctor has more powers to help overcome this villain.  The next day I am off to this doctor.  They must test those 18 spots only causing me more pain, leaving me to wonder....why me??  What have I done to deserve this?  It is uncovered...but still they have no real treatment for this bandit that keeps robbing me of my daily life.  They suggest exercise....really??  Any idea how much pain I have?  Leaves me wondering who really needs to see a psychiatrist?  Water...that seems to be the only friendly person I can go to for relief.  I can walk in water with out to much pain.   Now the bandit has cloned himself...I see and meet others that have been captured by him.  They tell me their horror stories....some have given up.  They lay in bed for hours at a time.  I now have come to realize the this Bandit is the catalyst for other villains, like  diabetes and lupus.  He can invite chronic fatigue to join him in his take over. 
I finally scream out loud.....NOOOOOO!!!!  You cannot take me to a place I no longer want to go, so I fight...each day is a struggle, but I refuse to let this horrible monster take control of me.  I am tired, I am in pain, I am angry, but I struggle along.  He may still be there, but I am not beaten yet....I will fight this monster until I have no breath left.  I will continue on...I will someday win over this villain.  Watch out Fibromyalgia Villain!!!! Someday....someone  or something will find the right tool to avenge you!  And until then....I am your now your worst enemy...so watch out! 
    

4 Comments to Fibromyalgia...the Masked Bandit:

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Marc W Kohler on Monday, July 01, 2013 10:03 AM
Hi Deb: I have two friends with Fibromyalgia. I am going to share this with them. Also, metaphor and simile have a profound influence on our perceptions of reality. I suffer with depression from childhood experiences, and for years, I envisioned the pain as a monster, just as you have. I found it odd and freeing if I thought of the pain as something OTHER than a male monster. It can become a female monster. It can become a child having a tantrum (Ie. not in control of the pain it is causing me). Sometimes, it becomes a lost soul wandering around looking for a home--never knowing that it is IN me!! The idea is that the "translation" of what is a monster into other images changes my relationship to the pain. If I were to write a story about dealing with it, each story would be different since the character that I percieve the pain to be changes my confidence in dealing with it. It makes the process kin dof like that cliche "Make lemons into Lemonade" or that song from King and I "Whenever I Feel Afraid." It makes me able to make the pain be lots of things. Your writing on the subject is excellent.
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Debi Gajewski on Monday, July 01, 2013 7:40 PM
Dear Marc, thanks so much for taking the time to read the blog. You are quite the writer yourself. It is nice that we have the link connection and how much those connections can help us in our jobs as storytellers. I would love to read your rendition of your monster when you write it. It is funny that you use the coined phrase of "when you have lemons...make lemonade" I have done that with programs that some people wanted and then backed out...So with the lemons (program) I marketed it and had a lot of bookings with my new advertised (lemonade) I hope your friends with Fibro will leave some feedback so I can get their take on it. Thanks again...feel free to keep in touch.
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Jeanni on Monday, July 01, 2013 8:52 PM
Fibromyalgia, Complex Regional Dystrophy Syndrome, Neuropathy, Reflex Sympathetic Pain,......so many titles all meaning the same...."I Hurt!" Pain described as having your skin ripped of as in waxing, skin radiating heat yet you pray no one or nothing causes air to move over affected area...Do I take meds which may reduce pain a bit but change your body, mind, and thinking. Praying for the Patience because you have hope that when this episode runs its course there may be some relief for a while. Trying to continue on with life, for the world doesn't stop revolving just because I hurt. God, I Trust and firmly believe that there is nothing that You give us that You also give us means of handling it. I try to keep remembering that perhaps the reason for this pain is for researchers and scientists and doctors to better understand the human body, perhaps leading to a cure for Cancer or Lupus or Alzheimer's or some other condition so others may not like this. Grant me Patience, Dear Lord, but please HURRY!
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Debi Gajewski on Wednesday, July 03, 2013 6:33 AM
Thanks Jeanni for that remarkable comment And I use your Trust in God that He only gives us what we can handle....but some days, I wish He would take a coffee break or something!
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