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My Blog

The Light at Death

Good afternoon, once again to all my family of friends here on the internet.  Yes, that would be you my readers.  Hope you are getting ready, or perhaps have already begun the 4th of July celebrations.  I cannot wait to write tomorrow's blog about a fourth of July, but first I must get on with today.  I know that the light at death may seem to be a strange title, but as I proceed with the story, it hopefully, will make sense. 
I am sure most of you have heard about the light that people claim to see when they have died and return back to life and told stories about it.  How many of you out there have questioned it?  How many scientists and doctors have had rebuttals about it?  Well, I would like to share a very intimate story with you that is true...whether you believe it will be up to you., but I would swear on a stack of bibles, on my grandparents and mothers graves and in front of God himself. that what you are about to read is true..So, again....that is all I can offer as a backup to my story.
It all started during the Christmas holidays.  Now, in previous blogs, I have shared how I was raised by my grandmother and how very close we were.  It was  Christmas morning in 1983.  I was bustling around trying to et the food made for Christmas dinner. It was traditional for me to host the dinner since my husband and I were the only children and it was way easier for me to have the day's celebration then having to split the day, especially since  Christmas Eve had us running all over the place from house to house,, lugging gifts, children, casseroles, etc. 
Well the phone rang about 10 A.M. in the morning.   It was my grandmother. Now getting a phone call from Grandma was no surprise, since we usually chatted 10 or 15 times a day.  Only this call was quite the surprise.  Grandma said she was sorry, but really wasn't feeling well.  Her legs hurt so bad ad she didn't think she would be able to come....Grandma had terrible Rheumatoid arthritis...if I look back now...since I have been diagnosed with Psoriatic arthritis along with psoriasis, and Grandma had psoriasis,....I would venture to say she had it as well, only they didn't know what to call it back then. 
Now my first reaction was like a punch in the stomach....not have grandma for Christmas...no way....that was never going to happen.  I told Grandma not to think twice about it....it was only her and my mother, my husbands parents, my aunt (my mother's sister) and her husband coming.  I would just call them up and I will have them meet me at Grandma's and I would bring all the food.  There was no way I was going to let my Grandma be alone for Christmas...I hung up the phone, made the calls I needed to make and began to have the children gather up the presents and put them in a couple of large garbage bags to take over to grandmas.  In the meantime, I hurriedly began the last minute items to make since all the timing for the meal had been changed. 
About an hour later, the phone rang again.  It was Grandma, and she told me that she was coming....she took a couple of extra pills to help her get through the pain.  I argued with her that she should just stay put...but there was no arguing with her.  She decided she was coming, one way or another.   I hung up the phone, told the children to unpack the bags of gifts and put them back under the tree, called everyone back and told them the dinner was back on at my house.  I was just grateful that I hadn't removed the dishes form the dining room table. 
When 2:00 P.M. rolled around, my mom and Grandma had arrived first.  It broke my heart to watch my Grandma crawl up my back porch steps using her arms on each step as she came up.  She came in the house and we got her sat down in the living room in the High Back Queen Ann's Chair and I got her a mug of coffee.  I sat down on the floor next to her and just about cried watching her hugging my 2 daughters.  My Grandma was my hero!  She was the bravest woman I had ever known.  She had been through so much in her life and continually struggled without saying too much about any of it.  Dinner was served and everyone had a wonderful time talking and laughing, we retired to the living room to open presents and then I excused myself to the kitchen while everyone  just mingled.  It was time of course to do the dishes.  As I was washing the dishes, Grandma came in and she was holding this present.  She told me it was for me...I looked at her in amazement and asked her why?  We had already exchanged presents!  She lifted her finger up to her lips and said "Shh!"  :This is between you and me".  I wiped my wet hands with the dish towel and excitedly opened it up.  When the tissue was off...there was Grandma's old cast iron pot and lid.  Now you might be wondering why this would be so important, right?  Well, you see, back in those days, before the microwave popcorn with the brands that taste as good as in the movie house, my Grandma made the best popcorn just like at the movies.  She was always asked by every member of the family for every occasion to make it.  "She told me that it was time to hand it down to someone else.  That she won't be able to make the popcorn anymore and was confident that I would be the one out of everyone who could do it.  But the secret was in the pot. I stood there and just cried as I hugged her.  My heart was just overjoyed that she had that much confidence in me to give me that pot and share that secret.  The rest of the evening was  just like every other Christmas until it was time for Mom and Gram to leave.  Grandma gave me the biggest hug and told me how much she loved me..and then she said "You are all going to  have a really great New Year!"  Now normally not an unusual thing to hear at Christmas since New Years is a week away...but there was something about the way she said it that was different.  But like all things...we just shrug it off. 
Now the next day, I get a call from my mom...Grandmas was sick...really sick and she was taking her to he hospital.  The hospital?  I started to wonder whether it was something she ate?  Was it the pills she took to come to my house?  "What's the matter? is what came out of my mouth".  Mom said that Grandma got up with a cold and was having a hard time breathing.  They called the doctor and he doctor said to go to the hospital.  My mom said she would call me when they knew something.  Well, I was beside myself waiting for the call.  Hours went by that seems like days, when finally the phone rang.  When  I answered the call, my mom was crying and said it was pneumonia and that they had to put Grandma on oxygen.  I calmed my mother down and said that it would be okay, she would be better in a couple of days.  I would wait until my husband got home from work  to be with the girls and I would come to the hospital. 
Some 6 hours later I arrived at the hospital only to find that my Grandmother had lapsed into a coma.  I sat by her side from that moment on.  I made arrangements at home with my mother-in-law and my husband to take care of the girls.  I was not leaving the hospital.  My mother went to work at nights and we took shifts staying by grandma's side.  On New Year's Eve, when my mom got to the hospital after work, she told me to go home and spend New Years Eve with my girls and husband.  I battled with her while tears continuously streamed down my face that I didn't want to leave.  My mother told me everything would be fine...go home and celebrate with the children and then come back tomorrow and bring some lunch.  I reluctantly left.  My girls and husband and I rang in the new year watching TV, banging the pots and pans, I had sparkers for the girls to twirl out on the front steps wearing their happy new year princess crowns and their pajama's   We all got a good nights rest.  And in the morning I made everyone breakfast and took a quick run to the grocery store.  I was shopping along down one of the isles when suddenly, I had this horrible feeling wash over me.  I had to leave right then and there...I just knew something was not right.  I am ashamed to say, I even left the grocery cart right there in the middle of the aisle....there was just this sense of urgency to get home.  When I opened the back door, by husband was on the telephone and just one look at his face told me all I needed to know.  He finished his conversation with we'll be as soon as we can.  He looked at me and told me they didn't give Grandma much time...He would call his mom and as soon as she got over we could leave.  NO WAY....I told him...you stay here till she gets here and meet me there...I am going NOW!!!  I got in the car driving as fast as I could, the whole time yelling "PLEASE Grandma, don't leave me until I say goodbye, PLEASE GOD let her stay till I get there!"  I am not quite sure how I was even able to see out the window, tears were flowing like a river.  I got to the hospital in time.  I sat at the side of the bed while she was on the respirator and watched as the machine pumped her chest up and down.  I kissed her cheeks and her forehead and continuously told her how much I loved her and how my life would never be the same without her.  I begged her not to go.  My husband finally arrived and he sat on the chair next to my mom on one side of the bed as I sat on the other side holding and stroking her hand.  As I lifted my face to talk to my mom and husband I was facing the window of the hospital room.  I noticed the most unusual thing I had ever seen...It was a ball of light on the outside of the window.  At first, I thought it was the sun.  But it was huge and was slowly advancing it's way towards the window...No, it couldn't be, I thought....I am just seeing things...I haven't had much sleep lately.  The light just kept advancing closer and closer and before I could say anything, a nurse stepped into the room and asked if we could all step out for a moment.  That diverted my attention from the window and that advancing light.  We just all stood up and walked out and the nurse closed the door behind us.  We stood there on the other side of the door waiting for the nurse to finish whatever it was that she was doing , when suddenly, the overhead light flickered off and then on again.  My husband looked up and said "Bye Gram"  I just slapped his arm, and said "What are you saying" when just then the door opened and the nurse looked at the three of us standing there and said "I am sorry....she is gone".  "GONE, GONE...what do you mean she is gone?" 
They had evidently seen it happening at he nurses station on the monitors.  That was why the nurse came in.  And then suddenly, I recalled the light...That big mass of light that was approaching the window.  It looked as though the sun had dropped down out of the sky and was coming straight at the hospital window and would crash...only it wasn't the sun.  It was the light that they see when they are crossing over...I got to share in that moment.  I was there to see it.  I felt as though my soul, in that split second was with Grandma when she left her physical body. My Grandma just gave me another gift.  The gift of seeing that she wasn't going to be alone...that there is more after we die.  That there is a light at the end of the tunnel , so to speak.  My Grandmother's soul departed on New Years Day.  She told us we would have a better new year.  Well, it didn't seem so to us...but in her mind, I hypothesize, that she thought she was becoming a burden with her health failing and our running back and forth to care for her.  But she was never a burden.  She was one of the greatest gifts God ever bestowed on me.  She made me into the woman I am today.  She also gave me faith and belief in what is to come in the here and hereafter. All I can say each and everyday that I remain here is, "I Love you Grandma...I can't wait to be with you again." I am not sure if there is anyone else who didn't die that saw that light, I just know that it was there and I will never forget it.

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