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My Blog

Getting engaged

Good Afternoon.  What an unbelievably hot day here in the Chicago land area.  When I walked out of my house this morning, I really could not wait until I go into my car.  I was diagnosed with a sinus infection yesterday and something new to me...lymphtitus...and infection in the lynph glands. Yeah me!!  Well, at least it is not contagious...so more Zpacs  for me.  I had an early performance this morning, quite a distance from home...so needless to say, my blog is late. 
I thought about what todays topic should be and decided on getting engaged.  I think that today there is such a difference on this intimate act of two people deciding whether they want to spend the rest of their lives together.  I thought about how the times have changed and how different it is for a man to propose to a woman.  I think that the times have changed so much that a man must go through hyperventilating just thinking about making the plans of how to do it.  Years ago...usually, a man went and asked for permission from the girls parents.  If he didn't, then he would plan out some secluded moment in their time together to get down on one knee and pop the question. 
Now a days it is so much more elaborate than that!  They have airplane write the question in the sky, they have billboards put up with the question, they have it on the game boards at sports arenas, They even now have Engagement Planners....can you imagine.  I just saw on on the Cake Boss Show.  She plans every little detail out for you...can you imagine?
I remember the day that my son-in-law proposed to my daughter.  He had asked for our permission and asked me to go with him to help choose the perfect ring for my daughter.  When he made his final decision....he planned on a totally different day than what he originally planned.  With my help...he planned an evening downtown in Chicago, looking at the Christmas windows...I aided along by asking my daughter to stop at Marshal Fields and pay my credit card bill.  All was done very nonchalantly.  They went downtown, she paid my bill, they looked at windows and then he said "Why don't we take a carriage ride"?  They hailed a carriage and while snuggled under a blanket, he pulled out the ring and proposed.  Of course she said yes...hence the son-in-law part.  when they got back to the house with the ring...I had champagne and hand painted wine glasses ready with the table set with a runner with bride and groom frogs....some might think it was silly...but I was was being symbolic.  Foggy went a courtin was the theme.  I know...I already can hear the groans!! 
It was a very romantic and special day for them. 
I looked back on my engagement.   First you have to understand that when my husband and I met, he proceeded to inform me that he just wanted to date...he was clear that he wanted no involvement...no commitment, and I was perfectly fine with that.  We could just go out and have some good times.  One week later, driving to the movies, he turned to me in the car and said...Hey...you want to get married?  I turned and said...yeah...why not.  Not the most romantic thing in the world.  There was no ring...just a proposal.  three weeks later..he picked me up from work.  At the time, I was a cashier in the Vault at Weibolts in Norridge.  I got into his Silver Mercury Montego and he drove over to Schiller Park Woods.  We got out of the car and started to walk the trail.  Nothing unusual, just a walk in the woods.  At one point, about an hour into the walk we found this tree laying down on the ground and we sat down.  Now the entire time we were walking, he had picked me a flower here and there.  Once we were sitting, he was fidgeting all over the place until finally he stood up and then got down on one knee and proposed formally.  He then proceeded to tell me he had another surprise for me back at his apartment.  I couldn't imagine what in the world it could be, but I was surely excited since there was to be more than an engagement ring.  We got back to the car and he proceeded to drive me to his place.  Once we climbed the two flights of stairs and he unlocked the door, he put both of his hands over my eyes and carefully guided me through the house.  Once we reached the final destination, he turned me to whatever he was not going to reveal to me and removed his hands. You could not imagine the look on my face or the shock of looking at the kitchen sink....the surprise was on it...He had purchased me a sink drainer, potato peeler, Turkish coffee pot and a set of knives.  I was stunned to say the least.  When he noticed that I wasn't overly excited over his surprise, he just answered ..."It's all the things you said we needed for you to properly make a meal!"  Okay, now if you are all off of the floor from laughing...it is true!  He really thought this was the most Fantastic surprise!  Well, it was a surprise alright...just not anything I had ever imagined!  He should have stopped at the forest preserves.  It sort of took away from the walk and the proposal.  Now when I went home, normally a girl would be so excited to tell her mother that she got engaged....but when I got home, our dog was in the middle of having puppies and that excitement just sort of took over.  At the end of the night as well washed up and prepared for bed...I nonchalantly said to my mom and grandma..."Oh, by the way, I got engaged today!"  Their response," oh that's nice...we'll talk in the morning." 
Even planning a wedding was not what we had expected...I always wanted to be a June bride...so we planned for the following June...almost a year later.  But when we were looking for a hall...all the dates were taken, All the months that were available...were months his family wouldn't attend a wedding.  Not May because it was the month of Mary and it is unlucky to get married in May....Not During lent because...well....noone would come during lent...He wanted winter then...I was not going to chance a winter wedding...so we were needless to say at a standstill.  We stopped by the German restaurant that my mom worked at called Bamburgers and proceeded to tell her our woes over finding a hall for the wedding....My mother then said..."How about here?"  I looked at him...he looked at me...we shrugged out shoulders and said " What's available?"  my mother choose Sept.  21st...and we said fine.  So now I had to plan a Polish wedding in three months.  Now talk about ROMANCE???  Now we had what one might call a WHIRLWIND ROMANCE....hmm....I might just call it something else...but I quite haven't found the right words yet.  Give me another 39 years.     

2 Comments to Getting engaged:

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Jeanni Tiedje on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 7:15 PM
I hope you consider a story from a friend... Thirty some years ago, I had a job as a housekeeper/child care provider for a family with 3 young children. Because of this situation, I had the opportunity to meet Debi and her husband Stanley. At the time, they Debi & Stan had 2 young daughters the same ages as the children that I cared for. Debi & Stan were the Godparents of one of my charges. I could tell from the first time we met that thee was something very unique about Debi. Even though times have changed, children have grown and some now have kids of their own, I keep discovering more and more about this wonderful lady. As you can tell from the life-stories she shares, Debi has the ability to feel that she 'belongs' wherever life may lead. She is equally at home shopping at the local dollar store or Macy's, preparing a dinner of hot dogs or Thanksgiving dinner, entertaining a crowd or just her own family. No matter how much or how little she and her family may have had over the years, they were always ready to share with anybody and everybody who may have come along. Along the way, I have learned many, many things from Debi and her family. Always be thankful for what you have, for not all blessings are made up of dollars and cents. Deal with the reality of today, for you don't know what tomorrow my bring. Take pride in your talents, but at the same time work on your faults. No matter what may happen, be there for people for you never know when they will be there for you. Find something to laugh about every day, for every day and its challenges are a blessing. Always have Faith.....in yourself, in others, and with God. Debi may make many of her experiences sound like life was always the greatest and day-to-day challenges were almost non-existent. I know otherwise, and would like to share some of these experiences with you. Debi was a stay-at-home Mom while Stan worked as a barber in a nearby suburb. They had 1 car. Because Debi has started a hand craft line from her home plus the girls' activities from school, church, scouts, etc. Stan had gone out an gotten himself a bicycle so that Debi would have the car. I remember many a days that Stan would bicycle the miles to/from work in rain, snow, sun and heat. The had managed to get a few dollars saved. They knew they needed a second car, Debi and Stan went to a local dealer, picked out a very stripped-down new car, put down the money they had managed to save, and walked out with a new car. Remember when I said stripped down? Let me just put it this way...Debi made herself learn to drive a stick shift very quickly! Debi and Stan and her daughters were huge Chicago Bears Fans. One year when they made the Super Bowl, of course Debi had to have a party on game day. The house was decorated in Bears Blue & Orange with newspaper clippings of the season's games. I don't remember how many people were at her house (a simple Chicago 2-bedroom bungalow) but I remember people were everywhere! The menu was simple...she had a 'soup bar' of some home made soups, Debi had some home made bread, snacks of chips and popcorn (of course, Debi made more that 1 kind of popcorn,) and simple beverages of mostly soft drinks w/some beer. I really don't remember if it was a Super Bowl win for the Bears, but I do remember all the laughter and fun, at a very modest party. Debi had also developed an interest in murder mysteries. She had parties where a group of people that were invited were teamed up in twos, and earned clues in order to solve the mystery. Now, don't think for one moment that Debi wouldn't put her unique touch to the game! One time,he guests were to arrive in formal wear. The setting was on a passenger ship, so Debi decorated her back porch with bunting and lights, and as the game participants leaned over the rail they waved and cheered and threw streamers and confetti as the ship was launched! Once again, an unforgettable event because of simplicity and Debi's unique touch. Times have changed. Debi and Stan were able to move from the city to the suburbs. Stan was able to obtain his teaching degree and found happiness teaching learning disabled children. It has been a while since I have seen them in person, but do keep in touch via Facebook. But memories are still alive of all the unique life adventures with your Storyspinners Debi and Stan. In closing, a few thins I have learned from Debi & Stan. Be thankful for what you have, for not al blessings are made up of dollars and cents. Deal with the reality of today, for you don't know what tomorrow may bring. Take pride in your talents, but work on your faults. No matter what, be there for people, for you never know when they will be there for you. Find something to laugh about every day, for ever day and its challenges are a blessing. Always have Faith.....in yourself, in others, and in God. Thank you, dear Debi and Stan. LUB!
Reply to comment
Debi gajewski on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 8:49 PM
Dear Jeanni, I am blushing over all your sweet,endearing comments. You make me sound like some sort of super human! I just know that life is short, friends are few, and God is number one and family is next. I was always under the impression that a guest at my door might be and angel sent from God...and to treat them so. I thank you for being the kind and sweet woman that you have always been and thank you for all the appreciation. You were a friend who never said no and always had an opened heart that was always bigger than anyone could imagine. Serendipity had brought us together so many years ago and what a blessing that was. We shared many a laugh and many tears as well. We shared many moments and many of our hopes and dreams and tragedies. My wish for you today is happiness, joy and plenty of love for you deserve all that and much more. Thanks agaim for the story...But I am still blushing. It has always been my belief that if you do something...do it the absolute best that you can!

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