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My Blog

Love Gone But Not Forgotten

Good morning.  Not quite sure how today is going to be yet...still dark outside this morning.  I hear that there are some storms headed towards this direction, but not sure whether they will hit the area or not.  I am hoping for a nice Sunday for The Grove Fest on Sunday.  Storytelling and fun!  Come on out to the Grove, I will be there storytelling from 12-5 with other members of our Guild.  Loads of things to do there, so spend a wonderful day on the beautiful grounds and take in some of the splendor of fall.
I have been thinking about relationships lately.  Not just the relationships that are current, but the time invested in past relationships.  All the years when we grow up there are people that waltz in and out of our lives.  Some stay, others leave, yet they leave such imprints on us that last a lifetime.  Now I am not speaking of the average person that you may meet once or twice...but the relationships.  I thought about the young men growing up that I dated for quite a long time, the friends that were made and bonded with.  I remembered one year in particular in High School, where I dated a young man whom of course I was absolutely crazy about.  I was 16 years old and totally smitten.  I was a Sophomore in High School and he was a Sophomore in College.  I met him through his brother at a play I was in at Weber High School in Chicago.  We instantly connected.  It was an amazing chemistry.  He was dark haired, brown eyed and stood about 5'9.  Now this was an issue for me at the time because his height meant I had to work really hard to find shoes that were flats so that I didn't tower over him....and back in those days, heels were the height of fashion. This was especially important issue when we went to a dance together.  Silly when I look back at that now.  I don't think it every bothered him...at least he never mentioned it...but I didn't want to be taller that him. 
Anyway, we had the best summer ever that year.  We would go down to the lake with a blanket and just sit and talk.  We shared our lives, our hopes and our dreams.  We went out on typical dates.  Miniature golfing and to the drive in movies,  we went to see Man of LaMancha at the Candlelight Dinner Playhouse, we watched television at my house.  That was something that could embarrass a young girl.  I lived with my grandmother, and she would go to sleep early.  We would be sitting in the living room and when the cuckoo clock struck ten o'clock, Grandma's folding louver door to her bedroom would creak open and she would shout from her room "It's 10 o'clock...any decent fellow would go home now!"  Talk about being embarrassed!  But he would bid his goodnight and leave. 
I remember when he went back to school..he went to school at Northern University in DeKalb.  Quite the distance, and so during those times I would only get to see him on the weekends.  Of course he also had a part time job at Mars Candy factory which took up part of that weekend.  I would wait anxiously by the phone for his call. 
Now I know that my Grandmother liked the boy, but she thought he was way too old for me.  She always insinuated that he would be out for something much more than dating.  The funny thing was...all the boys that were my age were the ones to watch out for...but not him.  Now don't take me wrong, we did our share of kissing, but he never got out of hand. 
Well, back in those days, we of course only had one phone.  So if you left the house, you missed the call.  I had waited all day on one Saturday for his call and I got later and I needed to pick up something at the drugstore.  I told my grandmother if he should call, tell him to leave a number of where he was at and I would call him back.  I left to go to the drugstore.  Back then, I had to walk 4 blocks there and then 4 blocks back.  I got what I needed and I must say, I don't ever think I had ever walked so briskly before.  Upon returning home, I asked whether he had called and she said no.  I never received a call the whole weekend.  And then to boot, his letters stopped coming.  We wrote to each other all the time.  I was totally confused about what had happened.  Did I do something to cause a rift in our relationship.  Well, I never heard from him again.  I was totally devastated.  I was perhaps a year later when I found out that he did call and Grandma had told him I was out on a date.  She handled our break up.  She thought my dating a Sophomore in college would only get me into trouble.  I suppose today looking back that I understand why she might have thought that...but it was one relationship that she really didn't need to worry about that.  I waited a long time thinking about him.  I must say, looking back he was probably my first true love.  I still think about him on occasion.  I have a charm bracelet that he had given me a charm for it.  I still look at that bracelet and remember the Christmas where we were sitting in his living room in front of the Christmas tree and he gave me that charm.  It meant so much to me..it was so very personal.  Funny how you can spend an entire year with someone and the then one day POOF, they are gone.  Time heals all wounds, but the memories stay with you forever.  I often wonder whether he ever gives me a moments thought. 
When I think about the year spent, I suppose it was what was meant to be.  I guess when I look back at it today, he could have confronted me and I could have defended myself, but back then we were kids.  Who thinks rationally?  In those days, we thought with our hearts.  And all I know is that time, my heart really broke for the first time in my life.  But life moved on. More people waltzed in and out.  I guess I learned that life is worth the dance. 

4 Comments to Love Gone But Not Forgotten:

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Linda Kinnaman on Friday, October 4, 2013 8:26 AM
Oh Debi, what a bitter sweet story! I remember my first love too. It was such a nice time and I overlooked the difficulties it gave me, but the attention from that first sweet boy made it all so special. Never forget that first love. It opened up your heart to more!
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Debi Gajewski on Saturday, October 5, 2013 5:41 AM
Linda, You are right, they are bittersweet. And life went and more love cam into my life. But those moments are still so precious to me. I am ever so grateful to have had them.

Jim on Friday, October 4, 2013 6:48 PM
I'm sure that with your personality and your love for life and memories, that you cherish and hold close to your heart, you will always be more than just someone's moments of thought. And you are absolutely right that memories stay with you forever. If only we could turn back the hands of time ? even for a day ?
Reply to comment
Debi Gajewski on Saturday, October 5, 2013 5:44 AM
Jim, Thank you for those very kind and generous words. What a sweet sentiment you wrote. Memories are such a precious gift and there are times when I wish there was a time tunnel to go back and revisit.

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