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My Blog

The Fear of Failure

Good morning to all.  A beautiful day in front of me today.  The sun is shining and the birds are chirping.  I need to keep reminding myself to be grateful for the gifts I am given each day.  Life has many twists and turns that sometimes in the face of adversity...I need to remind myself of that.  When I feel like I am drowning...I need to remember that I love the water...and that I know how to swim. 
Today's blog is about Fear.  I have sat here all morning and contemplated that word.  It is something that it seems has more attachments than one can imagine.  There are so many fears in the world.  There are many phobia's affixed to it.  Fear of bugs, tight spaces, heights, etc, etc. etc.  But the fears that I face are more than likely fears that we all face.  
I fear making the wrong decisions, I fear growing old, I fear losing those I love, I fear being alone, I fear failure.   
Failure is the biggest one.  What constitutes failure?  What determines that one has failed. I think that the answers to that question lie in your own self.  One of the things that I hear over and over again in life is that you must face your fears.  Well, I can face many...I can face dangers, I can face troubles, I can face a lot...sometimes...it is my failures that are the hardest to face.  And when I really stop and look at them...I wonder whether others see that as a failure?  But failure can often times be pounded into us as children...and even as adults. 
I remember that when I decided at the age of 30 to go back to school...I told my mother what I was doing.  She don't me not to tell anyone about it because what if I wasn't able to handle it.  What if I couldn't finish it?    Turned out that I wasn't able to finish it...I had to stop and help with family issues that took presidence...BUT...while I was there...I made straight A's and made Phi Beta Kappa.  I carried a full load and was raising 2 daughters and keeping house at the same time.  I failed to finish...but I felt that I did my best...so was it a failure? I raised children...one daughter choose to go her own way....was I a failure as a parent?  
I have just received news that makes me feel as though I have not passed mustard and now question whether I have failed.  The more I think about that...the more depressed I got.  Then I thought....I tried!  I didn't have the fear of TRYING!  Another person's perception of what passes mustard may not be someone else's idea of passing mustard...so maybe I need to find that someone else's opinion...or change from mustard to ketchup...LOL.  If you knew me personally...that is so an inside joke.  I am definitely a Ketchup Queen.  So maybe it is the way I dress my food..or in this case...my situation.  I am not giving up! I am just going to change my direction.
Fear needs to take a vacation...permanently!  I thought about people who have looked at failures and continued on to become great successes.  The Wright brothers didn't give up.  Alexander Graham Bell didn't give up.  Woman who fought for their rights didn't give up.  When they fell...they got back up and brushed them selves off and went on again.  Well, get me my horse.....cause I am galloping forward and plan on still kicking up a lot of dust.  Determination...Don't FAIL me now! 

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