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My Blog

May 2015

Door Bells Ringing? in the middle of the night?

Good morning.  I was awoken during the night from the doorbell ringing.  This is not the first time that this has occurred for me.  Some of the strangest phenomenon happens and I am out to find an answer.  In the midst of slumber, I am awoken by the sound of my front doorbell ringing.  It has always occurred while it is still dark outside...around 2 and 3 in the morning.  I am startled and jump up.  No one is there...it doesn't continue to ring either...but I swear that it had!  Another phenomenon is a man's voice....(sounds like my husband's) saying my name.  I jump up and no one is there....although I would have sworn that he was right there...he is not!  I go to check to make sure he is alright and discover him sound asleep! 
Then things like this have happened in the past, I have attributed it to the thoughts that I must have dreamed it...even though it seems NOT! 
Last night when this happened, it left me thinking that perhaps it might be some sort of message.  An awakening of another kind...so to speak.  I pondered about who it might be...what it might be about.  The one odd thing was that yesterday...I was cleaning and decided to move my mother's memorial box which contains her ashes to a different spot.  The thought went through my head...could it have been her...could she not be happy with the move?  I haven't given any of the other doorbell events any thoughts...so this was one to journal about....and now to pay closer attention.  Being that it is memorial weekend...by thoughts have also been on a neighbor who was killed in Vietnam.  As I sat on the computer, I watched a video of the cemeteries and all the crosses displayed of the men and women who were killed in the wars and thought about Tony.  He was killed in Vietnam and his body was brought home for burial.  He is in the cemetery at the end of my block.  Could it be him? 
I blogged yesterday about missing a dear friend who had recently passed away and how much I miss her...could she have decided to make contact?  Or is it just me dreaming with lifelike experience? 
The first thing I did this morning was to search the internet about what it might mean...believing that oftentimes...a dream is telling us something.  I was surprised to discover that MANY have had the same experience as myself. There is a lot of speculation as to what is happening...I myself will continue to research and look for others input.  How about you, my readers?  Have you had any experiences like these?  I would love to hear about them.   Won't you share your experiences?
As for Bells...it seems to me that they are definitely an important part to spirituality and religion.  I know that the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" interjects that when  bell rings, an angel gets their wings...and sure you would think that those sentiments are just because of the movie...but the belief in that was here long before the movie was ever made.  I started to think about bells....church bells...and how the ringing of them are really a memorable statement at a funeral.  I have been to a cemetery that rings their bell that is in the entry archway.  I thought about the catholic masses I had attended and the ringing of the bells for particular parts of the service.   Chinese ring bells to communicate directly with the spirit.  Russian Orthodox, bells directly addressed the deity There have bells throughout history playing an important role.  From bells on ships, bells on animals, bells that alert and bells of freedom. 
All I know is that I believe that the bell must mean something important.  I will mark this day down in a journal and wait.  I will update you whether something occurs or I gain some revelation over the bells of the night....in the meantime, I would love to hear your feedback. 

Feeling Blue

Good afternoon to all.  It has been quite some time since I have written on the blog and decided that perhaps it was time to resume.  I must admit I am at times discouraged on whether it makes any difference to anyone  since feedback is next to nothing....but since I found that the time spent writing and the reflective time that happens when I do is beneficial at least to me.  I would try again.  
I have never  suffered from depression...at least I don't think I have...but feeling blue or down from time to time does creep up into my life. 
I am not quite sure what triggers these types of feelings...but there are some days when it does appear.  The past year or so has been quite the roller coaster for me emotionally.  Oh...I must admit...it is nothing disastrous...but then again...perhaps it is...at least in my realm of normal. 
I have lost a very dear friend this year...and I miss her terribly.  I have lost many in my lifetime...but this last death has knocked me for a loop.  I have had another dear and close friend go through a mastectomy and a VERY large dose of chemo treatments.  I see how the wind in her sails has been depleted and marvel at her tenacity and fight.  I have seen her lay under covers, vomit and gag...lose her hair, her eyebrows and eyelashes.  She has lost weight....but never lost her faith.  I marvel at the way she has handled this and wonder if I could do the same if I were in her shoes. 
I have a whole in my heart for many reasons and I try to put one foot in front of the other...but from time to time...the "woe is me" can get the best of me. 

As I reflect back in time...I remember how it used to be growing up.  Families were together..sometimes in the same household.  It has been my lot in life it seems to have my family far away.  First it was my mother who moved 2,000 miles away and then it was a daughter who left and never looked back...so to speak.  Grandchildren who I am not sure even know who I am.  Another daughter gone to pursue life with her family.  Grandchildren who I wish I could partake in their everyday activities like my own grandmother did while I was growing up.   I guess it is the new way of life...at least it seems that it is for me. I cannot say that I like it very much....but then I watch a show like "Love Comes Softly"and realize that in those days...often times once a child left...the distance was so great and the ability to travel was almost non-existent that I am not that bad off...at least I can get in a car or on a plane and go to them.   Non-the less...it doesn't make the lonely days any less lonely. 

Now, don't get me wrong...I have plenty of things to fill up my day...and I tend to be one very busy woman...but still...every once in a while...I want to just embrace those I love. 

I thought about the phase of feeling blue.  Blue is associated with calmness and tranquility...and yet it is also the color associated to depression.  Sort of a oxymoron. 

When I think of a blue ocean or the blue sky I feel at peace.  I find it interesting that they named a bird the blue bird of happiness. To say someone is True Blue means that they are loyal and faithful.   A Blue blood is someone of nobility  Blue is said to be the favorite color of 50% of both men and women.  So why then do we say we are feeling blue when we are down in the dumps?  There are many sayings that we use that contain the word blue.  Someone appeared out of the blue, His face turned blue or once in a blue moon.
It is also a color of some of the most beautiful things in the world, like a blue sapphire, blue topaz, lazuli and  wedge wood to name just a few. 
So, blue has it's ups and downs.  It has it's yin and yang.  For the moments that I feel blue..I know that on the flip side...I will have my upsides and will be fine.  Thank goodness for the paint brush and paints.  They take me to many places.  As I create I relax and reflex about how fortunate I am to have been a part of those lives that I miss.  There is definitely something to be said about reflection....it always takes me back anywhere I choose to go.

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